Friday, March 23, 2012

Seinfeld Characters

Character Actor Character description Episode
Steve Pocitillo Michael Chiklis The annoying suburbanite who tells Jerry he will visit him when he's in the city. He gets drunk and calls a hooker to Jerry's apartment while Jerry is out and then leaves her with Jerry when his ride shows up, forcing Seinfeld to pay for her services. "The Stranded"

Sid Fields Bill Erwin The cantankerous old man Jerry is assigned to. Kramer and Newman take his old records, and Sid kicks Kramer in the butt when they are leaving. Bill Erwin was nominated for an Emmy for his guest appearance. "The Old Man" cameo appearance in "The Pilot"

Marlene Tracy Kolis The annoying cashier girlfriend of George whom she gets dumped by. she then asks out Jerry and begins to leave bizarre messages on his machine, she later dumps him after seeing his act. She also sometimes jumps in pools clothed. "The Ex-Girlfriend"

Alton Benes Lawrence Tierney Elaine's hard-nosed father and famous novelist. "The Jacket"

Artie Levine Ron Steelman Jerry's cousin who prefers his last name be pronounced Le-vine not Le-veen "The Stake Out"

Ben Cantwell Robert Donley The old man George is assigned to visit. "The Old Man"

Ron Tobin Bell A record store owner "The Old Man"

Betsy Megan Mullally One of George's dates. He attempts to advance their relationship by accompanying her to her aunt's funeral in Detroit. "The Implant"

Brody Neil Giuntoli Kramer's movie pirater friend, who packs a gun and eats too much candy. "The Little Kicks"

Meryl Courteney Cox Jerry's girlfriend who pretends to be his wife to take advantage of Jerry's discount at the dry cleaners. "The Wife"

Magnus aka Vegetable Lasagna Frank Van Keeken Norwegian guy who sits in the plane seat next to Elaine and Puddy and has to put up with incessant fighting. Named after his meal selection on the plane, even though he insists on being called by his real name. Coincidentally, all three later end up in the same taxicab due to a shortage. "The Butter Shave"

Miss Rhode Island (Karen Ann Hanson) Marguerite MacIntyre Jerry dates her and accidentally kills her doves, forcing her to sing for the talent contest under Kramer's tutelage, which she does horribly. "The Chaperone"

Hal Kitzmiller Vince Grant Elaine dates him and Kramer is obsessed with his last name. Hal doesn't sit on park benches because they're bad for your back. He buys his furniture at "The Lumbar Yard." He enjoys "the walking date," swimming in the East River, and estimates Elaine's height and weight at 5-8, 110 pounds. He accidentally offended Elaine by sending her a customized mattress, which she gave to Kramer, who proceeded to "funk it up" by swimming in the East River and then sleeping on it. "The Nap"

Betsy (warden) Kathryn Joosten The warden at a women's prison to which the Susan Ross Foundation made a donation, though she prefers being called by her first name. "The Little Jerry"

Henry Atkins, Postmaster General Wilford Brimley He makes it clear to Kramer that he cannot refuse postal mail. He sits on the desk and interrogates Kramer in a parody of his role as Assistant Attorney General Jim Wells in Absence of Malice, in which he did the same to Paul Newman. "The Junk Mail"

John Grossbard Allan Wasserman Kramer runs into this old debtor — a former roommate to whom he lent money — at an airport and tries to collect the money owed. When Kramer realizes that Jerry's flight has been redirected providing the opportunity to again confront his former roommate, he says, "listen to the bell Grossbard. It tolls for thee." "The Airport"

Joel Horneck Kevin Dunn Jerry's childhood friend, with whom he has nothing in common but keeps insisting on keeping in touch. Joel is self-centered and socially awkward, which also makes him impossible to avoid. At some point, Jerry tried to honestly "break up" with Joel, but made him weep and wallow in self-pity instead. "Male Unbonding"

Gladys Mayo Victoria Mahoney Owner of Putumayo and Cinco de Mayo, two retail shops selling southwestern clothing and shoes. Irked by Gladys' inattentiveness when trying to make a purchase at Putumayo, Elaine then marched over to Cinco de Mayo and spent hundreds of dollars on colorful garb, then paraded around in front of Putumayo to show Gladys how much business she had lost. When Elaine learned that Gladys owns both stores, it really stuck in her craw. "The Millennium"

John Germaine Jeff Yagher A jazz musician Elaine dates who eventually loses his saxophone playing prowess after having done "everything" with Elaine. "The Rye"

Milos Mark Harelik A tennis equipment store owner, who sells Jerry a $200 tennis racket but is later revealed as an utterly incompetent player. Afraid of having his reputation ruined, Milos offers his wife to Jerry, and later asks Jerry to take a dive in a tennis game. "The Comeback"

Donna Chang Angela Dohrmann White woman who people think is Chinese, originally named Changstein. "The Chinese Woman"

Jean-Paul Jean-Paul Jeremiah Birkett A New York City Marathon runner from Trinidad and Tobago whose life is made miserable by Jerry. "The Hot Tub"

Frank Costanza's lawyer Larry David He doesn't follow trends and wears a cape. He stops Noreen from committing suicide. Introduces himself as "Frank Costanza's lawyer". "The Chinese Woman"

Pam Kim Myers Jerry's girlfriend whom Kramer falls in love with. "The Soul Mate"

The Doorman Larry Miller An arrogant doorman at Mr. Pitt's apartment building tricks Jerry into watching the door for him. He berates Jerry for looking down at him because he was a doorman, even though Jerry wasn't. "The Doorman"

Stan, the Caddy Armin Shimerman Kramer's Senior Tour golf trainer who missed the cut in the trial of Sue Ellen Mischke. "The Caddy"

Fragile Frankie Merman Dana Gould Jerry's friend from summer camp, a.k.a. the "summer George". He is known for running into the woods whenever he's upset. "The Junk Mail"

Luis Miguel Perez Cuban Diplomat who trades several boxes of Cuban cigars for Kramer's "lucky" jacket. Later. Luis, Kramer and two other Cubans go golfing. "The Cheever Letters"

Lorraine Catalano Judy Kain Works in Jerry's uncle's office. Jerry bumps into her at the Chinese restaurant but cannot remember who she is, until Elaine tricks her into introducing herself. "The Chinese Restaurant"

Ned Isakoff Todd Kimsey Elaine's well-read communist boyfriend, whom she got blacklisted from the Chinese restaurant Hop Sing's by "naming names". He is also indirectly responsible for causing George to date a woman who posted an ad in the Daily Worker (a communist newspaper), and for nearly turning Kramer into a communist and encouraging him to quit his department store Santa job with Mickey Abbott. "The Race"

Sharon Paula Marshall The New York University reporter who writes a story about Jerry and George being gay. "The Outing"

Kevin, Gene, Feldman and Vargas Tim DeKay (Kevin, 2 episodes), Kyle T. Heffner (Gene), Pat Kilbane (Feldman), Mark S. Larson (Vargas) The Bizarro Jerry, George, Kramer and Newman "The Bizarro Jerry"

Geoffrey Harhaarwood Eric Christmas The assistant wardrobe man on Spartacus. He assists in the revitalization of the Alex Theatre and has an unusual fascination with buttons. "The Gum"

Sheila Alexandra Wentworth Jerry's girlfriend who calls him "Shmoopie" as a term of endearment (as he does with her) and is overly affectionate in public. "The Soup Nazi"

The Pig Man Uncredited cameo While in the hospital, Kramer snoops around and comes across what he thinks is the result of a government experiment: a half pig, half man. In reality, just a "fat little mental patient". "The Bris"

Members of the Houston Astros front office Leon Russom ("Clayton"), Ernie Lively ("Zeke"), Charles Cyphers ("Gardner") George has a meeting with the Astros about the possibility of inter-league play. They always call everyone a "bastard" or "son of a bitch". George and Jean-Paul start using the terms and get in trouble. "The Hot Tub"

Members of the New York Mets front office Michael Laskin ("Minkler"), Bruce Jarchow ("Mooney") The Mets make an offer to George for a vacant front office position at Shea Stadium. But in order for the Mets to hire George, they allude to the catch: He has to get fired from the Yankees first. In the end, however, despite George's valiant attempts to make Steinbrenner fire him, Wilhelm walks in and takes the blame. Wilhelm is trying to get fired to get the Mets job as well, which he does. "The Millennium"

Dr Cooperman aka The Assman Lou Cutell A proctologist who has his 'Assman' vanity license plates issued to Kramer by mistake. It is discovered, when Jerry and Kramer visit the doctor's office, that the real Assman has a practice there. When asked by Kramer if the doctor is indeed the Assman, the doctor gives a 'knowing' wink. "The Fusilli Jerry"

Denim Vest Kevin McDonald A character named after his questionable taste in fashion. Elaine's network of fake phone numbers (one of them H&H Bagels) comes undone because of him. "The Strike"

Shaky the Mohel Charles Levin After circumcising Jerry's finger during a bris, he blames Jerry, claiming he flinched. Jerry later derisively refers to him as "Shakey the Mohel" and claims that the mohel got his license from a matchbook. "The Bris"

Manya Rozsika Halmos A relative of Jerry's who dies shortly after Jerry makes a disparaging comment about people who owned ponies as a child. She had stated that she owned a pony in Poland before immigrating to America. "The Pony Remark"

Uncle Mac Joe George Jerry's uncle who was writing an autobiography. "The Stake Out"
The Mechanic Uncredited George accuses a mechanic at David Puddy's Saab dealership of stealing his Twix. He says he probably has a short, mono-syllabic name like Kip or Ned. "The Dealership"

Tor Eckman Stephen Tobolowsky A holistic healer who turns George's complexion purple instead of healing his tonsillitis. "The Heart Attack"

Jimmy Anthony Starke Constantly refers to himself in the third person. Holds a grudge against Kramer for spilling water on the floor, causing him to slip and hurt himself. "Jimmy's down!" George starts to refer to himself in the third person due to Jimmy's speaking. "The Jimmy"

Jason "Stanky" Hanke James Spader A recovering substance abuser who refuses to apologize to George as part of his Alcoholics Anonymous ninth step. Hanke had refused to loan George a sweater because he said George would have stretched out the neckhole. "The Apology"

Melissa Kathleen McClellan Jerry's girlfriend who likes always to be naked while in his apartment, until he does the same and proposes to do some nude belt-sanding ("This isn't good naked"). "The Apology"

Joel Rifkin Anthony Cistaro Elaine's boyfriend who has the same name as infamous serial killer (in real life) Joel Rifkin. Elaine tries to get him to change his name. "The Masseuse"

Raymond Jeff Lester A male masseur who causes George to become extremely uncomfortable and to question his own sexuality. (George: "I think it moved.") "The Note"

Roy the Dentist Ralph Bruneau A friend of Jerry's who agrees to write notes stating that Jerry, George and Elaine need massages so they can be reimbursed for treatment. He is later charged with insurance fraud, but remains friendly to Jerry. "The Note"

The Maître d' James Hong In a Chinese restaurant, the maître d' keeps Jerry, Elaine and George waiting for a table for the whole episode. After the three finally leave in disgust, he looks up, grins, and cries out, "Seinfeld...four!" He also inadvertently complicates George's relationship with Tatiana after mistakenly asking for Cartwright when she phones. "The Chinese Restaurant"

Darryl Samuel Bliss Cooper Elaine's "interracial" boyfriend who ultimately turns out to be white; (Darryl to Elaine: "So, we're just a couple of white people?") "The Wizard"

Evie Bridget Sienna The cleaning lady that George has sex with in his office. "The Red Dot"

Sylvio Jon Polito The superintendent of Jerry, Kramer and Newman's building. He tries to evict Newman from the building for reversing his peephole, but Kramer persuades him not to. Later in that episode it is found out that Newman is having an affair with his wife. "The Reverse Peephole"

Marcelino Miguel Sandoval A bodega owner who posts a check Jerry bounced, offering to take it down if the rooster Little Jerry Seinfeld wins a cockfight. In "The Millennium," Kramer mentions that Marcelino is 1/64th Mayan. "The Little Jerry"

Phil Louis Mustillo Jerry and Kramer's neighbor who dislikes Jerry because Jerry wouldn't let him into the apartment building for fear of robberies. Phil blames Jerry for the death of his parrot. "The Strongbox"

Claire the Waitress Lee Garlington In the pilot episode, Claire was cast as the female regular character; however, she was replaced by Elaine in all subsequent episodes. "The Seinfeld Chronicles"

Carl Farbman Dave Pierce Furniture designer who Elaine wishes would design shoes. "The Checks"

Jack The Wiz Toby Huss The spokesman for Nobody Beats the Wiz who wears a crown and chants "Nobody beats me, because I'm the Wiz! I'm the Wiz!" "The Junk Mail"

Eddie Sherman Ned Bellamy A J. Peterman mail room employee whom Elaine promotes rather than fires because she is intimidated by his threatening manner. "The Fatigues"

Alex Melinda Clarke One of Jerry's girlfriends who loves hairless dogs "The Muffin Tops"

Victoria Dedee Pfeiffer The woman in Monk's who orders the same lunch as George, and introduces George to her Uncle so that he can get his job with The New York Yankees. "The Opposite"

Gavin Joseph Maher An apparently inebriated airplane seatmate of Jerry's who has a medical emergency and asks Jerry to watch his dog, Farfel, then doesn't show up to reclaim the maddening animal for days. "The Dog"

Mary Anne Rena Sofer Works for the New York Visitors Center. Engages George Costanza in discussion assuming he is a tourist. "The Muffin Tops"

Lola Donna Evans Woman in a wheelchair with whom Kramer falls in love after visiting her in the hospital. Lola later breaks up with him after he and George buy her a used wheelchair. She is later seen screaming and rolling down a hill in her wheelchair, which she cannot stop due to bad brakes. "The Handicap Spot"

Phil Titola Mark Tymchyshyn After being set up on a blind date with him, Elaine reported that during the date he "took IT out." "The Stand-In"

Lou Filerman Brent Hinkley The "sidler", works in Elaine's office and appears behind her, sharing credit for her efforts. "The Merv Griffin Show"

Todd Gack John D'Aquino Goes out with Elaine without actually asking her. He sells Jerry cigars which turn out to be Peruvian. Kramer attempts to pay him back in spare change. "The Calzone"

Nick Walter Olkewicz Works at the cable company and tries to catch Kramer at home, but Kramer keeps evading him. "The Cadillac"

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